If I’m not on the morning school run, I’m on the pick
up. Not driving to work, but leaving
early to pick a child up. Now DD has a
job, there are work drop off and collections for her too; along with dancing
(now twice a week, rather than once :/) and youngest son’s soccer; training AND
matches.
I’m thinking of having a microwave installed, or ‘luxury of
all luxuries!’ a CUP HOLDER! How – I ask
you – could the designer of my European, very expensive car have completely
omitted to include a receptacle to house a beverage? I mean, my car originated in Germany. Where would Herr place his Stein of beer
whislt driving home from work in the evening?
It’s got a removable, electrically powered roof, seat
warmers (that I have to watch and get the kids to warn me if they start to
smell bacon. I used to wonder why we
invariably ended up at McDonalds then I realised that my posterior was sending
off fumes like a Breakfast McMuffin and like obedient, Bisto kids, we headed
for the drive through with the car following the waft of delicious nasal
excitement). Most mod cons that you
could ask for in a car, but a cup holder??
Ha ha ha…..no! We have designed
the vehicle purposely so that you have to wedge your cup of scaldingly hot
coffee in your crotch as you drive and take every corner at 10mph until its
tepid enough to drink. Bloody Germans!
Saying that, I do love my car – or Miley Car-us as I have
affectionately named her (as she shows off and takes her top off when the boys
are looking). She is sporty, sexy and,
apart from the odd warm crotch-mishap, possibly the most favourite car that
I’ve owned. She has an oil leak, but I
just put that down to middle-aged incontinence and her need to be acknowledged
everywhere she visits. It’s like she is
leaving her autograph – whether you want it or not! ;)
However, she has a new garage partner. A true blue Aussie bogan to ruffle her
skirts. A fourby. If my car is Nicole Kidman, refined, elegant,
breakable, the new kid on the block is definitely Hugh Jackman – rugged, 5
o’clock shadow and shirtless. Shit is
going to do down. This upstart is raring
to go and show his colours. You can
almost hear him growl when you walk past him on the driveway; urging to ‘go
bush’ get muddy, bogged and up to no good.
This is gonna be fun! Add this to Ralph’s Bush-Boy testosterone levels
and I can just tell the ‘Jesus Christ’ bar is going to get a really good work
out >.< I never even knew this was
a thing!!! Apperently, you haven’t been
bush bashing unless you: a) get bogged, b) break something, c) terrify your
passenger with at least one grip of the handrail and the cry of ‘Jesus Christ!’
I shall report back later in the week after our first
off-road experience. I have a feeling
that snatch straps (WTF!) may be involved also.
I must admit that I chose to zone out at them mention of these and
having to deflate and reinflate the tyres so they don’t come off the
rims?! Like a whole new language! I’ve only just got to grips with some of the
nautical terms, now I’m completely in at the deep end again and starting from
scratch on a whole new hobby.