Yesterday I went to hear the Dali Lama speak (although after
a previous night’s entertainment with Russell Brand, His Holiness will forever
more be referred to as Daryl Llama).
I loved his enthusiasm and hearing his anecdotes and I
believe there was a very high percentage of people in the audience expecting to
leave the afternoon’s event with the ‘answer’.
You know…. The one that we all crave.
To life. To happiness. To making calories not count.
He mumbled (a LOT).
Some of his talk was inaudible.
He referred a great deal to his Aide – after all, he’s nearly 80 and
English isn’t his first language, so he often stumbled to find the right word
(which makes you wonder….. is his Holiness really all that he’s cracked up to
be, or if he actually uses the words that initially come into his mind would this
change the substance of his Wisdom hugely?
Maybe his Aide is actually the Wise Man and Daryl really waffles
incoherent balderdash like a pensioner in a care home?).
If the mumbling grew too much to bear, or the silence became
deafening, he accented the talk with his infectious chuckle. He could have been taking the piss out of
everyone in the audience and we still would have joined in and laughed
along. It’s one of those laughs that
MAKES you laugh.
He talked about spreading love. About how happiness can only come from
within, not from material purchases and things that can be acquired. A man may have material wealth, but his
stomach is the same size as the poor man next to him and just because he has
everything his ‘material’ heart requires, doesn’t mean his is spiritually happy
or fulfilled. Modern education is a
scourge. It gives children the idea that
they are only to be valued by society by the job that they manage to secure at
the end of their educational journey and if it is not financially fantastic,
then they have failed. Surely this is
not the correct way to view education? We
should be teaching children love (for themselves and others), gratitude and
mediation.
Stress is a disease of our modern age that we should work to
reverse. A few moments every day of
inner reflection and peace. We need to
take a step back from our problems (that can become all consuming) and see the
bigger picture. Yes, we are only
individuals, but the change needs to start within. With us.
How can we be good role models; teachers; parents, if we cannot self
soothe, calm and regulate our ego?
He had been worked hard.
It was a 12 day, whistle stop tour of talks, people meeting, meditation
workshops and chuckling. He'd admitted
that the schedule was a little gruelling for an octogenarian and they’d agreed
to ‘let up on him’ when he returned for his next visit. The profits from his visit (some $100,000)
were being ploughed back into worthy charitable causes and it was made very
clear that the man himself received no monetary gain from any of his
International trips or teachings. I
wanted to take him a cup of tea and a Rich Tea biscuit (a drink’s too wet
without one – now there’s an advertising slogan!)
As I sat there, listening, waiting for the ‘penny to drop’
moment, shovelling Maltesers into my face and doing ‘Godfather’ impressions
with the chocolates trapped between my top teeth and lip, (making my partner
snort his mouthful of coffee all over the Arena temporary seating) that what we
really need in our life these days is to take a step back. Less truly IS more.
The new car won’t fulfil you. The new handbag won’t make you happy for much
longer than the time it takes to transfer all your old junk into it. The new home in the new suburb won’t fill a
void that is left by the fact you miss seeing your children 3 hours a day as
you have to commute to sell your soul to pay for said house. Once you acquire all these possessions, the
real work commences in working to KEEP them.
The maintenance, keeping up standards, keeping your perceptions, not
losing face and having to downgrade. Why
put ourselves under this immense pressure?
Happiness ultimately, comes through human contact. Through relationships. Laughter.
Memories. Experiences. His Holiness even mentioned sex and intimacy
with our loved ones and being a very important way of connecting and
reaffirming our relationships. About
physical beauty being meaningless. True
beauty comes through strength of character, compassion and love – for both
yourself and others around you.
The afternoon ended with questions. I guess Margaret from Perth’s question was
the one that was on everyone’s lips in the room:
‘Your Holiness, I am a happily married woman with two grown
children. I have a solid relationship, a
lovely home, so why do I have this feeling of emptiness in my soul – a feeling
of being incomplete. That I haven’t
found my purpose?’
Oh my god – you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. It was as if the entire Arena were here for
this ONE answer. As a society, are we not
all in the same position? Struggling to
keep our heads above water, but not taking time to relax, appreciate what we
have and enjoy life’s simple pleasures.
Wanting the magic answer. The
quick fix. His Holiness reflected, he
looked like he was sick of this self-indulgent question.
The answer, he suggested, was within us all. Have less, experience more. Give something back to our community. Love conditionally. Learn (but for the right reasons). But the ONLY person responsible for our
happiness is OURSELVES! We are our own
masters. Only we can make the changes to
ourselves, for inner peace and happiness that can then be passed on to our
children and, hopefully, they can then go forward and also carry the message.
My friend and I came to the conclusion a while ago that we
could run ‘happiness workshops’ for the masses and charge a fortune. People don’t know how to take the coat hanger
out from their jackets anymore; how to cut loose, have a giggle, enjoy a laugh
(at their own expense), take the stick out of their arse! You mean there’s a recipe? A step by step
guide? A plan? Take my money now!
In essence, I took the following from my afternoon in the
presence of His Holiness, the great, wise, Daryl Llama.
·
You are not defined by the sum of your
possessions; they really have no bearing on your happiness or inner peace.
·
Appreciate all that we have.
·
Expect nothing; we are not ‘entitled’ to a good
life any more than the next man.
·
Beauty comes from within (said no beautiful
person, EVER lol!).
·
Happiness is an inside job.
·
Stress is a disease of our era. Mediation and relaxation is the only answer.
·
Take a step back. Your problems are not insurmountable; they
may appear huge initially, but put things into perspective.
·
Practice love and compassion.
·
Have lots of sex.
·
I’d be happy too if I had limited wardrobe
choices every morning and never had to coordinate accessories with footwear. Get someone to do your laundry.
·
Maltesers are delicious, make for hilarity and
damp jeans.
·
If in doubt – chuckle! (and hopefully the World
will chuckle with you).
(and I tried to love my ‘neighbour’ but with their incessant
fidgeting and frequent trips to the bar and restrooms (whilst treading on my
toes with each visit), I think that aspect needs further work!
